Lesson of a lost opportunity-Melanie Rose Gill

Valerie,
I know we’ve had our differences but I think you are a great friend to have.  This book was a great idea.  I hope your summer goes well.  I look forward to the fall.

Melanie

This note written in 1997 on the back of a Maintenance Work Order form from Murray State University is one of my most prized possessions.  It serves as reminder to me.

Melanie Rose Gill.  There was something about that girl that got under my skin.  Maybe it was the way she would disagree with me.  The way she would let me know when she thought I was out of line.  As time has passed and softened my memory I can’t really remember what it was but there was something about her that just didn’t mix with something about me for the majority of our 1996-1997 college year.  We were both Resident Advisors (RA's) at Springer College so like it or not we were going to be spending a lot of time together.  Towards the end of the year the two of us had started to work out all of kinks and I was really looking forward to upcoming year and becoming a closer friend to Melanie. But I never told Melanie that.

With just a few days left until all of the RA's returned to campus to prepare for the other students moving in, I received a phone call from Jill, our new Resident Director.  She told me that Melanie had been in a car accident and was gone.

During the previous year I made a scrap book/journal for all of us to write in while we worked the front desk because it wasn’t always an exciting job.  It wasn’t until some time after I received that call that Melanie was gone that I found the above note in the scrapbook.  I didn’t know that Melanie had put the note in the book.  I had no idea that she was glad we had made it over that hump and that she was looking forward to our friendship becoming stronger.  I didn’t know until that moment that she believed there was good in me, that she may have possibly forgiven me for all the times I hadn’t been the nicest.  But more importantly it was set in stone that I would never get the chance to show Melanie I could be a friend to her.  I had missed my opportunity.

I think of Melanie now and then. It may be on a night like tonight when I am cleaning and I come across the old scrapbook/journal or sometimes her memory sneaks up on me  when I am feeling selfish, frustrated and not very understanding of other people.  Every time I think of her, I think of what could have been.  Melanie is my reminder to take in every moment.  She is my reminder that first impressions are not always correct.  Second chances are important and some of the stuff we get caught up in is not really important at all.  Sometimes things can be fixed, other times they can’t but just because they can’t be fixed doesn’t mean they were always broken. She is my reminder that when the time has passed and others aren’t there you aren’t going to remember what it was that drove you nuts, you will miss the times that made being driven nuts worth it.  She reminds me to be appreciative of what you have.  For all the reminders, I thank you Melanie.